A Series of Unfortunate WTFs

Particularly when they hold you over after your appointed GTFO of here time.

This 40ish old guy kept trying to talk to me about cell phone operating systems, tethering, and about how fucking awesome he is because he’s a computer engineer and can write his own code for the OS on his cell phone.

And he kept talking, for like 30 fucking minutes. 

I’m thinking: I should have left HALF AN HOUR AGO.  I’ve been at this hell hole for 9 fucking hours AND THIRTY MINUTES.

And all the time he was: BLAH BLAH BLAHing, I just wanted to say:

I stumbled upon tumblr one day, and I saw that I had a new follower. 

I was all like: hmm, that’s interesting.  I think I’ll go check them out.

Bad fucking idea.

The follower was a lie.  Just like that cake. 

And when my page loaded seconds later I was affronted with a horrible, horrible HELLA NASTY PORN TUMBLR.

And I was so surprised by the heinous visual, that my face actually did something like this:

And it was so gross that I actually felt a little dirty.

Just like Cas.  That way he could call me on pay as you go phones that he didn’t know how to operate, and I could be entertained on a daily basis.

I’d buy him some minutes.

Of course, I’m all like:

Cause he’s pretty cute, and drives a fly ass vintage mustang.

So, I see him in the break room, and we start talking.  Just chatting it up, and he mentions something along the lines: “Yeah, I used to go there when I was a teenager.”

I’m 22, so naturally, I want to know how old he is.  He looks like he could be 20 or 21.

I ask: “So how old are you?”

His reply: “18”

Now please reference above ^ “I used to go there when I was a teenager”

YOU STILL ARE A TEENAGER

And now I’m like: Great.  Not only are you retarded, but now I feel like a child molester.

ellytheelephant:

what’s funny/awesome is that my best friend’s name is ellie

And you know who I’m talking about, with your douchebaggery ways, and CONSTANT complaining

And, much like an addict, it took me quite a while to realize that I do in fact have a problem.  It’s called being a geek.  It really hurts my ‘I’m a badass’ image I have going for myself, but then, after the 10th or so recalling of funny bits of shows and other geekery I like, to people who do not know what the hell I am talking about, I started to realize it…the dreaded truth.

I am a geek. [nods]

But, alas, I was still in denial. 

Until one day, my sister was like: You ARE SUCH a nerd.

And I only had one response, which hit me like a new car door that was bigger then previously thought, effectively smacking me in the face.

Painfully.

But now, upon reflection of this self startling discovery, I’m like:

MEH I DGAF